Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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