Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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