I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
