Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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