I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I have aggressive nipples.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
