I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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