Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
