am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I don't think brook has ever known best
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
