dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
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He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
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Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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