look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
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if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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