Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
