That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
