Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
