I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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