I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
