I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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