honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Randomize
