mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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