she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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