So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
