I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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