She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
