Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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