I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
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