So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize