what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
