I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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