he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
