He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
