I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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