She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize