i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
