Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
