we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
