The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
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Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
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Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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