Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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