Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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