I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
