You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
