hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
