I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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