he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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