He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
