so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
