Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I got chris browned last night
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
