Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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