Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
