Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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