We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
