Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
That accounts for only three of the penises
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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