I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
