Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
