look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
