But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
This baby is an asshole
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
