Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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