we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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