Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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