You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
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Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
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Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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