my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
zippers are such a cool invention
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Randomize
