My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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