Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
