my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
