I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
