He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
